One day, when i was going to sleep

I dont know why i suddenly had a strong feelings about

death.

I was only 18 this year and

death was something that never really came across my life.

For these 18 years,

i only knew that 2 of our beloved relative had pass away peacefully at the age over 90s

and

1 because of illness.

But

thoughts and feelings of being dying struck in my mind..

I realized that when ones' has died

he/she will not be able

to think

to see

to breathe

to sense anything..

Everything will be black and blank.

It was like ,

'Life is game , when time is up, it's GAMEOVER.

There is no retrying or to restart.'

And

i believe we wont be able to reincarnate or go near the God...

I dont why..

But this i what i am thinking before sleeping..

I think i should REALLY treasure everything right now

and

do what i really loves and want to do=)

ps casual thoughts..

Currently reading a book called

"Dont tell mummy"

One word to describe when i'm reading:

'Emotional'

Cried thrice and i'm only reading till the half way.

&

I realized that everyone childhood is different...

Especially Antoinette ..=(

But

for my childhood

i really have no memories or picture of them. >=(

Is it because that all the memories was bad

which i choose to forget them when i grow up?

I never knew..

ps The book was really touching and nice to read=)